I'm pretty big on good manners at school - or Common Courtesies, as we call them. Our Common Courtesies include greeting people when you first meet them for the day, saying please and thank you, knowing how to enter a room politely, using 'excuse me' in its correct context, using each other's names and a few others. At Peregian Springs we teach these to children explicitly, and everyone models their use. Our Common Courtesies are demonstrated everywhere everyday by students, teachers and other staff members - and we love it when parents reinforce these at home too.
Our students' manners is one of the things visitors to our school comment on nearly every week - visitors seem to be amazed at how polite and courteous our kids are. And I'm always terribly proud of them when they walk past me as I'm escorting a group of visitors and call out 'Good morning, Ms Sands', spontaneously and without any prompting! (This often happens in the supermarket in the afternoon too!)
Being consistent with our teaching of manners is important - those of you at Assembly on Friday would have heard me pull up the school and chastise them for talking and walking away while one of our Student Leaders was trying to close Assembly. I'm happy to say, I rarely have to do this, as mostly our kids are happy and polite students without being reminded. For me, though, setting and maintaining the standard is important.
Why do we think manners are important enough to teach? It's because a few common courtesies make the world a nicer place to be in - a smile improves a recipient's day; a please, a thank you and a polite knock on a door helps someone feel respected; the use of a person's name creates connection; and an 'excuse me' often leads to another feeling cared about.
Common Courtesies are the key to helping us function as a community - they demonstrate care and respect, and help us get along with each other harmoniously. A father said to me the other day about his son's discovery of the shower, 'He's just realised that smelling nice helps him get along with people better!' And this is what I think about manners - they help us get along with people better!
07 October 2012
Stories kids tell...
Quite often we hear at school about something a child has told their parents their teacher has said or done that has caused a great deal of consternation in the home. My own daughter used to tell me stories about her teachers that would have made their hair curl, had I repeated them!
Most times parents come and ask us about the situation and we are able to put the story straight - many times the stories are quite funny; but occasionally a teacher will say to me in anguish 'how could they have thought I would have said/done/thought that?'
The thing is that kids sometimes (actually a lot of times) get things muddled. They are not liars and they are not lying - they are merely reporting something they have seen or heard from their perception. They don't have the depth of experience or the level of cognitive development that adults have to draw on to make conclusions about what they've seen or heard, and to give it perspective. And perspective is a wonderful thing to have when trying to make sense of something that has happened. From a small person's point of view things are louder, bigger and more exaggerated - and if your child has heard your own conversations about teachers, they may feel their story adds weight to any conclusions they think you have drawn.
So next time your child tells you a story about their teacher (or me!) and your first reaction is 'you've got to be joking - that couldn't have happened; remember - it probably didn't! At least not in the way your child saw it and reported it to you.
A good response to children's 'horror' stories from school is 'tell me more about that' - and then, just let it go or seek more information from your child's teacher.
Most times parents come and ask us about the situation and we are able to put the story straight - many times the stories are quite funny; but occasionally a teacher will say to me in anguish 'how could they have thought I would have said/done/thought that?'
The thing is that kids sometimes (actually a lot of times) get things muddled. They are not liars and they are not lying - they are merely reporting something they have seen or heard from their perception. They don't have the depth of experience or the level of cognitive development that adults have to draw on to make conclusions about what they've seen or heard, and to give it perspective. And perspective is a wonderful thing to have when trying to make sense of something that has happened. From a small person's point of view things are louder, bigger and more exaggerated - and if your child has heard your own conversations about teachers, they may feel their story adds weight to any conclusions they think you have drawn.
So next time your child tells you a story about their teacher (or me!) and your first reaction is 'you've got to be joking - that couldn't have happened; remember - it probably didn't! At least not in the way your child saw it and reported it to you.
A good response to children's 'horror' stories from school is 'tell me more about that' - and then, just let it go or seek more information from your child's teacher.
14 September 2012
School pride
School pride - what is it? what does it look like? how do we know when we have it? These are all illusive questions, the answers to which are pursued by schools all over the world.
You know school pride when you see it, but it's hard to describe. It's something you can feel, and it probably can be heard too.
Last Thursday 7/6D went whale watching (courtesy of one of the student's parents). What a fantastic experience on a brilliant Spring day. After they arrived back at school, I received a call from a member of the public who wanted to talk to me about what she observed after being on the same boat with the class. Since these calls are usually bad news I answered with dread in my heart.
The woman explained that she had been on the boat with her elderly mother and she admitted to being annoyed when she saw they would be sharing their trip with a large group of school children. She had pushed her way to the front and demanded that Justin (7/6D's teacher) let them on first as she didn't want her mother 'pushed over'. She then went on to tell me what an amazing group of children they were - their manners were impeccable, they looked fantastic in their uniforms, she didn't hear the teacher raise his voice once, one of the boys gave his seat up for her mother and so it went on. She concluded by telling me they are a credit to 'that young man' - I think she meant Justin - and a credit to the school. Her mother, at the end of the trip, commented how nice it was to spend the day with young people.
I'm sure you can imagine the pride I felt - whammy, straight in the chest. When I told the story on Assembly the next morning you could see 7/6D swelling up as I spoke. And when the whole school congratulated them and Justin - well, it was wonderful!
It's important to teach children the value of pride - not in a 'I'm big noting myself' kind of way - but as an internal feeling of personal power and competence - that is, a motivating kind of way. Being proud of your school and proud of the people in it enhances a willingness to learn and do your best. And this fosters a personal competence that will carry kids through their future lives and will impact on the ways they view the world.
Well done, 7/6D - we're all so proud of you for showing the world and the whales what Peregian Springs State School does best!
You know school pride when you see it, but it's hard to describe. It's something you can feel, and it probably can be heard too.
Last Thursday 7/6D went whale watching (courtesy of one of the student's parents). What a fantastic experience on a brilliant Spring day. After they arrived back at school, I received a call from a member of the public who wanted to talk to me about what she observed after being on the same boat with the class. Since these calls are usually bad news I answered with dread in my heart.
The woman explained that she had been on the boat with her elderly mother and she admitted to being annoyed when she saw they would be sharing their trip with a large group of school children. She had pushed her way to the front and demanded that Justin (7/6D's teacher) let them on first as she didn't want her mother 'pushed over'. She then went on to tell me what an amazing group of children they were - their manners were impeccable, they looked fantastic in their uniforms, she didn't hear the teacher raise his voice once, one of the boys gave his seat up for her mother and so it went on. She concluded by telling me they are a credit to 'that young man' - I think she meant Justin - and a credit to the school. Her mother, at the end of the trip, commented how nice it was to spend the day with young people.
I'm sure you can imagine the pride I felt - whammy, straight in the chest. When I told the story on Assembly the next morning you could see 7/6D swelling up as I spoke. And when the whole school congratulated them and Justin - well, it was wonderful!
It's important to teach children the value of pride - not in a 'I'm big noting myself' kind of way - but as an internal feeling of personal power and competence - that is, a motivating kind of way. Being proud of your school and proud of the people in it enhances a willingness to learn and do your best. And this fosters a personal competence that will carry kids through their future lives and will impact on the ways they view the world.
Well done, 7/6D - we're all so proud of you for showing the world and the whales what Peregian Springs State School does best!
09 September 2012
Rough Play
What to do about rough play? It's a question we grapple with continuously as many parents question why we stop boys from engaging in what we call 'rough play'. 'It's normal', many of you say, or 'It's just what boys do'. And you are right when you say this.
All young animals engage in playing roughly and testing out their strength... or lack of ... on each other - just watch a group of puppies or kittens for half an hour. They are jumping on each other, biting and scratching and pulling each other to the ground. Occasionally when one gets too rough there is a hiss or yelp warning the stronger one off. This usually results in a short reprieve while everyone cools down before leaping into it again. The rough play of young animals serves a socialising purpose. It's also about 'survival of the fittest' and gaining strength to be the stand out in the litter. And perhaps 'rough play' for young boys is the same.
It can be alarming to see boys engaging in this behaviour at school - there are usually over a hundred boys on the oval at play times (far more than a litter of kittens), and if you can imagine a hundred puppies on the oval you have some idea of the magnitude of the play and some of the potential problems that could occur!
Many boys love to play like this - there's nothing more fun than jumping all over your friends, pulling them to the ground, tripping them as they run by or grabbing someone's hat and keeping it aloft in the air while the poor owner tries to get it back. Really? There's nothing more fun than this? We have just as many boys at school who dislike this kind of play intensely and who are even afraid of it. You see, unlike puppies and kittens who back off when it gets too rough, human animals don't. The 'play' tends to escalate and someone gets hurt - sometimes seriously.
If parents think rough play is important for their child's development then it can be encouraged in small groups (like a litter) under a parent's supervision. It just can't happen at school where we have to consider the risks, both physical and emotional, for ALL boys, of allowing them to play like this.
We believe it's far better to teach cooperative or team games and encourage children to play these as much as possible. They serve the same purpose as rough play - socialising and strength building are inherent in these activities. But they have the added bonus of encouraging the development of quality relationships and connectedness with others.
Rough play separates kids through fear and competition. Cooperative or team games connects kids together through fun and team spirit. I know the outcome I prefer for our boys.
All young animals engage in playing roughly and testing out their strength... or lack of ... on each other - just watch a group of puppies or kittens for half an hour. They are jumping on each other, biting and scratching and pulling each other to the ground. Occasionally when one gets too rough there is a hiss or yelp warning the stronger one off. This usually results in a short reprieve while everyone cools down before leaping into it again. The rough play of young animals serves a socialising purpose. It's also about 'survival of the fittest' and gaining strength to be the stand out in the litter. And perhaps 'rough play' for young boys is the same.
It can be alarming to see boys engaging in this behaviour at school - there are usually over a hundred boys on the oval at play times (far more than a litter of kittens), and if you can imagine a hundred puppies on the oval you have some idea of the magnitude of the play and some of the potential problems that could occur!
Many boys love to play like this - there's nothing more fun than jumping all over your friends, pulling them to the ground, tripping them as they run by or grabbing someone's hat and keeping it aloft in the air while the poor owner tries to get it back. Really? There's nothing more fun than this? We have just as many boys at school who dislike this kind of play intensely and who are even afraid of it. You see, unlike puppies and kittens who back off when it gets too rough, human animals don't. The 'play' tends to escalate and someone gets hurt - sometimes seriously.
If parents think rough play is important for their child's development then it can be encouraged in small groups (like a litter) under a parent's supervision. It just can't happen at school where we have to consider the risks, both physical and emotional, for ALL boys, of allowing them to play like this.
We believe it's far better to teach cooperative or team games and encourage children to play these as much as possible. They serve the same purpose as rough play - socialising and strength building are inherent in these activities. But they have the added bonus of encouraging the development of quality relationships and connectedness with others.
Rough play separates kids through fear and competition. Cooperative or team games connects kids together through fun and team spirit. I know the outcome I prefer for our boys.
02 September 2012
Student of the Week - what to do about awards and recognition...
Sometimes parents ask us why we don’t 'do' Student of the Week on Assembly every Friday to recognise those students in each class who are performing and achieving well. Our decision not to do this was made before we opened and was influenced by our philosophy about providing an environment where all children will choose to work towards their potential in academic and social endeavours.
Strategies such as Student of the Week rarely motivate children to achieve more or behave appropriately – in fact they can often have to opposite effect of creating resentment amongst students who have not been awarded a Student of the Week award, despite achieving well and behaving well all the time. Student of the Week often turns into a turn-taking event in which students are picked based on some nebulous criteria because ‘they haven’t had one all year’. Children are very quick to see through these sorts of strategies.
At Peregian Springs SS we want to recognise all students for doing well at the times they are doing it. All students can aspire to this. Each class has their own way of recognising the great work kids are doing and we use assembly to congratulate those students (all those students) who are achieving above and beyond expectations in their academic, sporting and social endeavours.
I love to see our kids proudly standing for the whole group with smiles on their faces – and equally I love to see the rest of the school rejoicing in each individual’s achievement. Student of the Week becomes a routine activity that looses meaning in this context.
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