A teacher's role description

Our employer, the Department of Education, proudly provide a role description and functional job requirements for teachers in its schools. It's an interesting read containing very few of the things teachers are required to do and leaving out nearly all of the things they do out of the goodness of their hearts ... and because they care for kids.

A colleague recently presented his list of the roles 'required' of a teacher.

We could also add
- nurse
- dentist (ask an early years' teacher how many lost teeth they have dealt with)
- banker
- emergency taxi
- mediator
- lunch maker
- stationer
- lost property coordinator

If you are a teacher or a school leader, what roles would you add?